The Copy Book

Alice gets an English Lesson

Alice meets Humpty Dumpty, and it turns out that she has been using words wrong all her life.

Slightly abridged

Part 1 of 2

1871

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Alice gets an English Lesson

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A sculpture of Humpty Dumpty in Madison, Wisconsin, USA.

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A sculpture of Humpty Dumpty in Madison, Wisconsin, USA. Humpty is a character in a nursery rhyme of uncertain origin (the theory that it refers to a great cannon thrown down at Colchester during the English Civil War is appealing, but cannot be traced back further than 1996). Carroll gave it as:

‘Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.”

The rhyme, we notice, makes no mention of eggs. We have Carroll to thank for popularising that idea. Behind Carroll’s whimsy is a serious point: language has a public and social character, and when individuals and institutions seek to take proprietary control of language, they are seeking nothing less than to take control of society. Humpty’s question ‘Which is to be Master?’ is not just about mastery over words. It is about mastery over Alice.

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A sculpture of Humpty Dumpty in Madison, Wisconsin, USA.

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© Cogdogblog, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: CC BY-SA 2.0.

A sculpture of Humpty Dumpty in Madison, Wisconsin, USA. Humpty is a character in a nursery rhyme of uncertain origin (the theory that it refers to a great cannon thrown down at Colchester during the English Civil War is appealing, but cannot be traced back further than 1996). Carroll gave it as:

‘Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.”

The rhyme, we notice, makes no mention of eggs. We have Carroll to thank for popularising that idea. Behind Carroll’s whimsy is a serious point: language has a public and social character, and when individuals and institutions seek to take proprietary control of language, they are seeking nothing less than to take control of society. Humpty’s question ‘Which is to be Master?’ is not just about mastery over words. It is about mastery over Alice.

Introduction

Carroll’s Humpty Dumpty exhibits all the pride that goeth before his famous fall, and also the same proprietary attitude to the meaning of words fashionable in Westminster. Here, he has just boasted of his ‘un-birthday present’ from the White King and Queen, and Alice is puzzled.

“WHAT is an un-birthday present?”

“A present given when it isn’t your birthday, of course.”

Alice considered a little. “I like birthday presents best,” she said at last.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about!” cried Humpty Dumpty. “There are three hundred and sixty-four days when you might get un-birthday presents — ”

“Certainly,” said Alice.

“And only one for birthday presents, you know. There’s glory for you!”

“I don’t know what you mean by ‘glory’,” Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously.* “Of course you don’t — till I tell you. I meant ‘there’s a nice knock-down argument for you!’”

“But ‘glory’ doesn’t mean ‘a nice knock-down argument’,” Alice objected.

“When I use a word,” Humpty Dumpty said in rather a scornful tone, “it means just what I choose it to mean — neither more nor less.”

“The question is,” said Alice, “whether you can make words mean so many different things.”

“The question is,” said Humpty Dumpty, “which is to be master — that’s all.”

Continue to Part 2

Humpty Dumpty is a character from a children’s rhyme. Lewis Carroll gives it as follows, noting that the last line doesn’t scan:

HUMPTY Dumpty sat on a wall:
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the King’s horses and all the King’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty Dumpty in his place again.

The rhyme does not mention that Humpty Dumpty has anything to do with eggs; Lewis Carroll (and his illustrator Tenniel) can claim credit for having established that connection. Nor does Carroll say that Humpty actually is an egg, only that he looked like one, and that Alice could not decide whether he was wearing a cravat around his neck or a belt around his waist, which Humpty found most provoking.

Précis

When Humpty Dumpty boasted of his ‘unbirthday present’, Alice timidly scolded him for using language unconventionally. But Humpty told her that he used words just as he wished, and that language was not a matter of convention. The only issue was whether words are to be in control of their speaker, or the speaker in control of his words. (59 / 60 words)

When Humpty Dumpty boasted of his ‘unbirthday present’, Alice timidly scolded him for using language unconventionally. But Humpty told her that he used words just as he wished, and that language was not a matter of convention. The only issue was whether words are to be in control of their speaker, or the speaker in control of his words.

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Variations: 1.increase the length of this precis to exactly 65 words. 2.reduce the length of this precis to exactly 55 words. 3.introduce one of the following words into the precis: about, because, otherwise, ought, since, unless, whereas, who.

Word Games

Sevens Based on this passage

Suggest answers to this question. See if you can limit one answer to exactly seven words.

What is an ‘unbirthday present’?

Variations: 1.expand your answer to exactly fourteen words. 2.expand your answer further, to exactly twenty-one words. 3.include one of the following words in your answer: if, but, despite, because, (al)though, unless.

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