Clay Lane

The Copy Book

A Library of History and Literature in English

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385

Watch Dog

The doorman of a Paris theatre had strict instructions to keep dogs outside, but it was the humans they let in who caused all the trouble.

The following anecdote comes from a pamphlet entitled Popular Sketches of British Quadrupeds, published in 1815. Reflecting the gentler times of Georgian England, the authors looked not only at working animals but also at pets, and treated the reader to a tissue of heartwarming tales of their affection and intelligence.

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Picture: © S. Woźniak, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: CC BY-SA 2.0.. Source.

386

Naked Aggression

Richard Cobden told his audience in the London Tavern that however much sabre-rattling was heard in St Petersburg, the average Russian was a man of peace.

In the opinion of Richard Cobden, the Rochdale MP, Emperor Nicholas I of Russia wasn’t a proper Russian. In his fondness for meddling in the affairs of other European countries he resembled the colonially-minded politicians of the West more than his fellow Russians, for whom the thought of being conscripted for military adventures beyond Holy Russia was abhorrent.

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Picture: © Azanulbizar74, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: Public domain.. Source.

387

Robin Recruits a Merry Man

It was George-a-Green’s job to stop animals trampling the crops, and it nettled his pride in Wakefield’s broad acres to see some ramblers behaving no better.

Robin Hood, Maid Marian and Robin’s merry men have been tramping carelessly over fields of corn near Wakefield, much to the disgust of George-a-Green, a local pinder (an animal control warden) and the lovely Beatrice beside him. Robin, who for once was armed with no more than a staff like the one George held, said soothingly that for any damage done the amends lay in his own hands.

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Picture: Paulus Hector Mair (1517-1579). Source.

388

Hideyoshi Changes His Mind

Toyotomi Hideyoshi, Chancellor of the Realm and Imperial Regent of Japan, was inclined to encourage Christianity until he found out why European Powers were so keen on it.

Within fifty years of Fr Francis Xavier’s mission to Japan in 1549, there were a million Japanese Christians. Even Toyotomi Hideyoshi (1537-1598), Chancellor of the Realm and Imperial Regent of Japan, was intrigued, and he received further missionaries from Portugal and Spain, and even Papal ambassador Alessandro Valignano (1539-1606), most courteously — until a bluff ship’s captain let the cat out of the bag.

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Picture: © 先従隗始, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: Public domain image.. Source.

389

The Third Hand

John Mansur, working in Islamic Syria, thought he could safely criticise the Roman Emperor for meddling in Christian worship. But he was wrong.

In 726, the Roman Emperor Leo III, seated in Constantinople (modern Istanbul), declared that images of Christ and his saints were ‘idolatrous’ and must be scrubbed from all church walls. The ban was sternly enforced, but there were rebels; and the outspoken John Mansur encouraged them with stirring pamphlets written from the safety of the Islamic court of Hisham ibn Abd al-Malik, Caliph of Damascus.

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Picture: Anonymous, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: CC BY-SA 3.0.. Source.

390

Akbar Takes the Plunge

Emperor Akbar’s court physician told his nobles that beneath the waters of a lake was a dry, cosy room, and dared them to find a way in.

In April 1594, Persian physician and inventor Hakim Ali Gilani (?-1609) laid a challenge before the open-mouthed courtiers of Emperor Akbar, then in Lahore. He showed them a small pool, and assured any man brave enough to dive in that there was a perfectly dry, cosy room waiting for him beneath the dark surface.

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Picture: © Maverick.bukhari, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: CC BY-SA 4.0.. Source.