Introduction
In the late 1880s, rising composer Ethel Smyth became friendly with Nelly Benson, daughter of the Archbishop of Canterbury, and often shared in the family’s meals. Archbishop Benson’s massive dignity never failed to disconcert Ethel, and on one occasion she started nervously babbling an anecdote about a misprint in a newspaper.
THE conversation had turned to printers’ errors, and I had got as far as saying I had recently read about a printer’s error, merely the omission of a final ‘d’... and here I stopped, overcome with misgiving. But there was no disobeying His Grace’s acid-affable: “Pray let us hear the case in question,”* and with death in my soul I told them how a local newspaper had stated in connection with a recent visit from General Booth,* that after his train had left the station a large crow remained on the platform for half an hour singing ‘Rock of Ages.’*
What happened then was, first silence all round, then someone tried to laugh, then Mrs Benson said cheerfully: “A fine athletic performance anyhow!” and instantly asked the Archbishop whether the Dean of Rochester had spoken well at the Meeting that morning? ... “But it really was a funny story” I afterwards pleaded to Nelly who had not been present. “Funny!” she replied gloomily, “of course it was funny, but what on earth has that to do with it?”
Abridged
William Booth (1829-1912) was not a military man but a Methodist preacher, who founded the Salvation Army in 1865, and served as its first General from 1878. Though no one could fault the Army’s charitable work, some members of the Church of England were dismayed that Booth joined it to his own idiosyncratic Christian creed, and the elevation of women to leadership roles ruffled a few feathers too.
Edward White Benson (1829-1896) was Archbishop of Canterbury from 1883 until his unexpected death in 1896, aged 67. A former Headmaster of Wellington College, Berkshire, he was a writer himself, but two of his most lasting contributions to culture were the Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols at Christmas, which he introduced during his time as Bishop of Truro, and planting the seed of Henry James’s ghost story “The Turn of the Screw”.
The error was, of course, to print ‘crow’ instead of ‘crowd’. ‘Rock of Ages’ was written in 1763 by the Reverend Augustus Toplady (1740-1778).
Précis
Budding composer Ethel Smyth once began telling a joke about a misprint in a newspaper, but on recollecting that her audience included a strait-laced Archbishop of Canterbury she paused. Obliged to go on, she completed her tale (about a crow that sang a hymn, when really it was a crowd) and was met with an uncomfortable silence. (57 / 60 words)
Budding composer Ethel Smyth once began telling a joke about a misprint in a newspaper, but on recollecting that her audience included a strait-laced Archbishop of Canterbury she paused. Obliged to go on, she completed her tale (about a crow that sang a hymn, when really it was a crowd) and was met with an uncomfortable silence.
Variations: 1.increase the length of this precis to exactly 60 words. 2.reduce the length of this precis to exactly 50 words. 3.introduce one of the following words into the precis: besides, despite, if, must, not, since, unless, whether.
Archive
Word Games
Spinners Find in Think and Speak
For each group of words, compose a sentence that uses all three. You can use any form of the word: for example, cat → cats, go → went, or quick → quickly, though neigh → neighbour is stretching it a bit.
This exercise uses words found in the accompanying passage.
1 Course. No. Present.
2 Anyhow. Laugh. Soul.
3 Archbishop. General. They.
Variations: 1. include direct and indirect speech 2. include one or more of these words: although, because, despite, either/or, if, unless, until, when, whether, which, who 3. use negatives (not, isn’t, neither/nor, never, nobody etc.)
Verb and Noun Find in Think and Speak
Many words can serve as noun or verb depending on context: see if you can prove this with the examples below. Nouns go well with words such as the/a, or his/her; verbs go well after I/you/he etc..
This exercise uses words found in the accompanying passage.
1 Station. 2 Train. 3 Age. 4 Laugh. 5 Leave. 6 Case. 7 Stop. 8 Cheer. 9 Present.
Variations: 1.if possible, use your noun in the plural, e.g. cat → cats. 2.use your verb in a past form, e.g. go → went. 3.use your noun in a sentence with one of these words: any, enough, fewer, less, no, some.
Subject and Object Find in Think and Speak
Use each word below in two sentences, first as the subject of a verb, and then as the object of a verb. It doesn’t have to be the same verb: some verbs can’t be paired with an object (e.g. arrive, happen), so watch out for these.
This exercise uses words found in the accompanying passage.
1. Stop. 2. Reply. 3. Story. 4. Error. 5. Conversation. 6. Morning. 7. Earth. 8. Try. 9. Leave.
Variations: 1.use your noun in the plural (e.g. cat → cats), if possible. 2.give one of your sentences a future aspect (e.g. will, going to). 3.write sentences using negatives such as not, neither, nobody and never.
Add Vowels Find in Think and Speak
Make words by adding vowels to each group of consonants below. You may add as many vowels as you like before, between or after the consonants, but you may not add any consonants or change the order of those you have been given. See if you can beat our target of common words.
hs (7+2)
has. his. hoes. hose. house. hues. ohs.
hies. oohs.
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