Introduction
The Roman Emperor Augustus (r. 27 BC - AD 14) made a habit of inviting himself to other men’s tables — not expecting much ceremony, though to one host who put on no show at all he remarked as he left, ‘I didn’t realise I was such an intimate friend of yours’. His dinner companions varied, but for the sake of his civic building projects he favoured the vulgar millionaire, and few were as vulgar as Vedius Pollio.
THIS same year [15 BC] Vedius Pollio died, a man who in general had done nothing deserving of remembrance, as he was sprung from freedmen, belonged to the knights, and had performed no brilliant deeds; but he had become very famous for his wealth and for his cruelty, so that he has even gained a place in history. Most of the things he did it would be wearisome to relate, but I may mention that he kept in reservoirs huge lampreys* that had been trained to eat men, and he was accustomed to throw to them such of his slaves as he desired to put to death. Once, when he was entertaining Augustus, his cup-bearer broke a crystal goblet, and without regard for his guest, Pollio ordered the fellow to be thrown to the lampreys.
* An eel-like, aquatic vertebrate that has no jaws but a bloodsucking mouth with horny teeth, and a rasping tongue. Henry of Huntingdon (?-1160) recorded the cause of King Henry I’s death as ‘a surfeit of lampreys’, and crime writer Ngaio Marsh gave that title to her first detective story in 1932.
Précis
Roman historian Cassius Dio recalled a story about Vedius Pollio, a man (he said) memorable for very little other than the cruelty to which this tale bears witness. It seems that the Emperor Augustus was his guest at dinner when a servant broke an expensive crystal goblet, and Vedius Pollio ordered him thrown into a pool of huge bloodsucking lampreys. (60 / 60 words)
Roman historian Cassius Dio recalled a story about Vedius Pollio, a man (he said) memorable for very little other than the cruelty to which this tale bears witness. It seems that the Emperor Augustus was his guest at dinner when a servant broke an expensive crystal goblet, and Vedius Pollio ordered him thrown into a pool of huge bloodsucking lampreys.
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