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A Surfeit of Lampreys

Augustus, the Roman Emperor, invited himself to dine at the luxury Naples villa of Publius Vedius Pollio, but a broken goblet thoroughly spoilt the evening.

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before 15 BC

Roman Empire (Roman Era) 27 BC - AD 330

© Salvatore Capuano, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: Public domain image.

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A Surfeit of Lampreys

© Salvatore Capuano, Wikimedia Commons. Licence: Public domain image. Source
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The Villa Pausilypon in Naples, the magnificent residence of Publius Vedius Pollio. The name is Greek and means ‘a break from grief’. Vedius was the son of a liberated slave, but prospered in the civil service after Augustus came to power following the Battle of Actium in 31 BC, and the grateful Emperor conferred on him the rank of eques or knight. He was held in honour but apparently not in affection, and seems to have had a maliciously cruel streak even by Roman standards. Vedius died in 15 BC, leaving his luxury home to Augustus in his will.

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Introduction

The Roman Emperor Augustus (r. 27 BC - AD 14) made a habit of inviting himself to other men’s tables — not expecting much ceremony, though to one host who put on no show at all he remarked as he left, ‘I didn’t realise I was such an intimate friend of yours’. His dinner companions varied, but for the sake of his civic building projects he favoured the vulgar millionaire, and few were as vulgar as Vedius Pollio.

THIS same year [15 BC] Vedius Pollio died, a man who in general had done nothing deserving of remembrance, as he was sprung from freedmen, belonged to the knights, and had performed no brilliant deeds; but he had become very famous for his wealth and for his cruelty, so that he has even gained a place in history. Most of the things he did it would be wearisome to relate, but I may mention that he kept in reservoirs huge lampreys* that had been trained to eat men, and he was accustomed to throw to them such of his slaves as he desired to put to death. Once, when he was entertaining Augustus, his cup-bearer broke a crystal goblet, and without regard for his guest, Pollio ordered the fellow to be thrown to the lampreys.

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* An eel-like, aquatic vertebrate that has no jaws but a bloodsucking mouth with horny teeth, and a rasping tongue. Henry of Huntingdon (?-1160) recorded the cause of King Henry I’s death as ‘a surfeit of lampreys’, and crime writer Ngaio Marsh gave that title to her first detective story in 1932.

Précis

Roman historian Cassius Dio recalled a story about Vedius Pollio, a man (he said) memorable for very little other than the cruelty to which this tale bears witness. It seems that the Emperor Augustus was his guest at dinner when a servant broke an expensive crystal goblet, and Vedius Pollio ordered him thrown into a pool of huge bloodsucking lampreys. (60 / 60 words)

Roman historian Cassius Dio recalled a story about Vedius Pollio, a man (he said) memorable for very little other than the cruelty to which this tale bears witness. It seems that the Emperor Augustus was his guest at dinner when a servant broke an expensive crystal goblet, and Vedius Pollio ordered him thrown into a pool of huge bloodsucking lampreys.

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Variations: 1.increase the length of this precis to exactly 65 words. 2.reduce the length of this precis to exactly 55 words. 3.introduce one of the following words into the precis: because, besides, must, not, otherwise, ought, unless, whether.