The Facts Factory

‘OF course no,’ said the gentleman, with an indignant look at the wrong half. ‘Why, then, you are not to see anywhere, what you don’t see in fact; you are not to have anywhere, what you don’t have in fact. What is called Taste, is only another name for Fact.’ Thomas Gradgrind nodded his approbation.

‘This is a new principle, a discovery, a great discovery,’ said the gentleman.* ‘Now, I’ll try you again. Suppose you were going to carpet a room. Would you use a carpet having a representation of flowers upon it?’

There being a general conviction by this time that ‘No, sir!’ was always the right answer to this gentleman, the chorus of No was very strong. Only a few feeble stragglers said Yes: among them Sissy Jupe.

‘Girl number twenty,’ said the gentleman, smiling in the calm strength of knowledge.

Sissy blushed, and stood up.*

* In Jane Austen’s Emma (1815), down-to-earth headmistress Mrs Goddard had no truck with “new principles and new systems”, with the consequence that her school was popular with children and parents alike. See A Proper Education.

* Has poor Sissy not suffered enough this morning? Mr Gradgrind has demanded that she answer only to Cecilia, as ‘Sissy is not a name’. Then she blurted out that her father worked as a circus equestrian or trick-rider, shocking Mr Gradgrind (who had no wish for the other children to know that there was so frivolous a thing as a circus) to the core, and forcing him to coach her into acknowledging that her father was in fact ‘a veterinary surgeon, a farrier, and horse-breaker’. Then Sissy compounded her shame by proving quite unable to supply a textbook definition of a horse. The abstract zoological checklist Gradgrind wanted was then smugly reeled off by young master Bitzer, who incidentally grows up to be a self-righteous paid informer at Bounderby’s Bank. Little could any of them guess that within days Sissy would be living under Thomas Gradgrind’s roof.

Précis
Encouraged by his progress, the gentleman from the Government went on to the subject of floral carpets, and whether they were appropriate for the home. This time he was rewarded with a more gratifying chorus of ‘right answers’; but there were still some rebels, among them Sissy Jupe, who was ordered to stand up and explain herself.