Introduction
While visiting London in the early 1800s, Mirza Abu Taleb Khan was brazenly but quite legally defrauded of ten shillings by a litigious tailor, and he had heard hair-curling tales of similar judicial malpractice in Calcutta. He had also heard, however, of one occasion when the attorneys were given a taste of their own medicine.
AN anecdote is related of a clever woman, who, having been summoned to give evidence before the court of judicature in Calcutta, deposed that such-and-such a circumstance occurred in her presence. The judge asked where it happened: she replied, In the verandah* of such-and-such a house. “Pray, my good-woman,” said the judge, “how many pillars are there in that verandah?”
The woman, not perceiving the trap that was laid for her, said, without much consideration, that the verandah was supported by four pillars. The counsel for the opposite party immediately offered to prove that the verandah contained five pillars, and that, consequently, no credit could be given to her evidence.*
* Throughout this anecdote, the words veranda(h) and balcony are used interchangeably. Strictly speaking, a veranda is a ground-floor platform whereas a balcony is accessed from the upper storeys. (Veranda is a Portuguese word that came into the English language via Hindi; balcony is from Italian.)
* This collusion between judge and barrister was what had disillusioned Abu Taleb in his dispute with a London tailor. See A Shabby Suit. The problem, as he realised, was that judges and barristers got paid for time in court, so it was in their shared interest to spend as much time there as they could. His somewhat naive solution was for judges and barristers to be paid out of the public purse, rather than from clients’ fees.
Précis
Legal troubles in England reminded Mirza Abu Taleb Khan of the tale of a woman in Calcutta, summoned to court to give evidence. The judge interrupted her testimony concerning events on a veranda with a question about the number of its pillars. The women estimated four, only for a barrister to declare her entire testimony worthless, since there were five. (60 / 60 words)
Legal troubles in England reminded Mirza Abu Taleb Khan of the tale of a woman in Calcutta, summoned to court to give evidence. The judge interrupted her testimony concerning events on a veranda with a question about the number of its pillars. The women estimated four, only for a barrister to declare her entire testimony worthless, since there were five.
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